#also yea that post rules it's more of a really funny joke than a meaningful discussion so this is a lotta rambling over nothing
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dreamyintersexouppy · 10 days ago
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sending love to all head mates with complex relationships to the body, language isn’t build to adequately describe our senses of identity and that’s fucking rough sometimes! However y’all choose or opt out of labels, I respect your choices!
thank you! but i think that's the thing about it, tma/tme (from how i understand it novas a good explainer but idk if im a good rememberer) isn't opt in or out, it just describes something that exists already, and while my identity as a boy is real queer how i get treated while fronting is still more affected by how people see the body. it feels like a tma if you don't know me/don't know im fronting and tme if you do but even that seems strange (nova says: that sounds like just tme to me cuz of the opportunity to opt out but it could be more complicated). i think the language is good but i also think it matters more to me to be an ally to nova and all my transfem friends than to think forever about where i sit in a framework that wasn't made to benefit me. in the end that stuff is for trans women and as funny as the joke of boy headmate in tma body is i think my position as boy headmate makes me not the authority on actual meaningful discussion
#hihi nova tags i think it's rly good to question the language with this stuff tho#like it really is a framework based in describing experiences connected to medical gender assignment which is useful for us#but i think this question is more associated with a question about how systems work#like when a split happens do the new headmates share experiences imposed on them because of their gender assignment and tma/tme status#beforehand?#depending on how memories get divided up it can change the answer to that#like green said the language is good i think a lot of the confusion#especially from the people who used this silly point to argue against transfeminism for a bit a while back#is more an indicator that we don't know how systems really work on a wider scale#we can have idividual experiences described but i've yet to see studies that actually try to treat headmates like people and study their#social behaviors and situations#and if there are any then the knowledge isn't widespread enough for me to know about it#but i think its a really interesting question!!! less for 'whose side am i on' type stuff and more for personal understanding#greens my friend and i wanna understand him and i know he wants to understand himself so having a better theoretical framework for un system#s could help that and would probably answer a lot of these questions of intersectionality that seem like grey areas#also yea that post rules it's more of a really funny joke than a meaningful discussion so this is a lotta rambling over nothing#but that's my favorite thing ever sooo#anyway i'm gonna cry rereading what green said omg he's so lovely#getting to see him mature from when i met his has been fucking magical he's such a wonderful thoughtful person#i'm so happy to share a headspace and a life with him!!!!!#i know i don't talk abt my headmates a lot but#aaaaaaaa#love you man
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